The Game
by ZaKai
Summary: Ed decides he wants Roy Mustang, and when Edward Elric wants something, he’ll stop at nothing to get it. [yaoi, EdRoy]
1. Twenty Nine and Holding

**A/N:** Yes, you saw right. This is an Ed/Roy story, and by that I mean that Ed will be pursuing Roy. This story is pretty AU in that it doesn't follow the series.

**The Game**

**1**

**Twenty-Nine and Holding**

Roy smacked the snooze button on his alarm clock when it buzzed and turned over in his bed. He didn't want to get up... Today was going to be a bad day. He knew it already. After five minutes the alarm buzzed again and he reached back to turn it off with a groan. He _really_ didn't want to go in today; he wanted to stay in bed and wallow in his misery.

Deciding he would do just that, Roy rolled to his other side, picked up the phone, and dialed. He waited, and after a few rings he heard, "General Hakuro speaking."

Clearing his throat, Roy said, trying to sound as pathetic as possible, "General, this is Roy Mustang. I'm sick, so I won't be in today."

There was silence on the other end, then a flat, "Really?"

"Yes, sir," Roy said quietly, hoping that his superior officer would believe him.

He heard some papers shuffling, then, "I don't believe turning thirty is classified as a valid illness, colonel."

"Eh..." he muttered. What could he say? That was exactly why he was calling in... Of course, Hakuro should know when his birthday was. He'd worked under the man long enough.

"Colonel?" came the voice on the other line.

"Er... yes, sir..." he mumbled unhappily.

"That's what I like to hear," Hakuro said in a business-like tone.

"Yes, sir," Roy said again in disappointment.

He was about to hang up the phone, when the general said, "Oh, and Mustang?"

"Yes, sir?"

"Happy Birthday."

_Bastard_, Roy thought as he hung up the phone. Happy Birthday indeed! What was happy about turning thirty?! He was officially old... Grumbling under his breath, Roy lay on his stomach and buried his head under his pillow.

Well, he might not be able to play hooky, but he could come in late and Hakuro wouldn't be any the wiser. Suddenly the phone rang and Roy flung the pillow off his head before snatching up the receiver.

"What?" he growled, not knowing who it was, but not caring either. Anyone calling him at home this early, on his birthday no less, should be fried to a crisp.

"Good morning, sir," came a female voice.

Roy pressed his lips together. "Lieutenant..." he said in flatly.

"I thought I would pick you up today so you don't have to walk to work." A pause. "Since it's your birthday."

Roy turned over and glared at the ceiling. "Hakuro called you, didn't he?" Roy asked in irritation.

"Yes, sir," came the immediate, and honest, answer.

"I wasn't planning on coming in late," he lied, though the fact that he said it without prompting made his lie that much more obvious.

"Of course, sir," Hawkeye answered back, though she didn't sound very convinced. "I'll be there in thirty minutes," she said, and before he could say anything else, the phone went dead.

Slamming the phone down, Roy sat up with a groan and scrubbed his hands over his face. Really, it wasn't fair. He rarely called in sick and was usually there on time. He didn't see why they couldn't grant him this one small thing.

Cursing the fact that he hadn't just requested the day off in the first place, Roy got out of bed, put his hands on his back and leaned backward. There were a few cracks, but nothing out of the ordinary. He shook his head and stumbled to the bathroom. His mind was automatically trying to find abnormal aches and pains. It was stupid, really. He was only one day older than he had been yesterday. It was just that he had _that number_ hanging over his head now...

Roy peered deeply into the bathroom mirror as he searched his reflection. For his age, he actually looked pretty good. He did have wrinkles, but they were small and fine; hardly noticeable at all. His gaze rested on his thin, black hair. He'd had a few white hairs over the last few years, but he'd pulled them out as soon as he'd noticed.

He'd heard it said that white hair on a man made him looked dignified, but Roy thought that was just nice bullshit women said to flatter men into letting themselves look old, so they could feel younger themselves.

With a yawn, Roy pulled off his boxers and frowned down at his stomach. He wasn't fat by any means, but he had a couple little rolls that he wasn't too fond of on his midsection, and over all he wasn't nearly as toned as he used to be... Well, he supposed that's what happened people got desk jobs.

Ignoring the thought that he was simply making excuses, Roy reached over and turned on the shower. With a sigh, he stepped under the hot water, thinking he'd better hurry if he wanted to be ready by the time Hawkeye got there. At this thought, he scowled angrily at the showerhead.

_When I'm Fuhrer, I'm going to make my birthday a national holiday..._ he thought vindictively as he rubbed the shampoo between his hands, then lathered his hair. _And then I'll make Hakuro work that day when everyone else is off._

Smiling at the thought, Roy quickly rinsed his hair and washed his body. His hands paused on his groin and he briefly considered giving himself a quick handjob, but decided against it given his time constraints.

Cursing Hakuro again, and Hawkeye too for good measure, Roy reached down and changed the water temperature to something near freezing. The chilly water had the intended effect on his sex drive, and it made him finish his shower even faster.

Rushing out of the shower, Roy hurriedly dried off and tied the towel around his waist before lathering his face and starting to shave. His hand jerked when the doorbell rang and blood mixed in with the white shaving cream. Growling, he rushed out of the bathroom, and glanced at the clock on the way to the front door. Scowling angrily, Roy cracked open the front door to see Lieutenant Hawkeye standing there.

"You're _early_..." he snarled, feeling more than displeased at still being undressed, in the middle of a shave, and having cut himself.

She raised an eyebrow. "Not according to _my_ watch."

Roy glared at her. "I just got out of the shower. I'm not dressed, so you can wait out there."

"You don't have anything I haven't seen before," she said flatly.

His eye twitched. "I have a towel on..."

"Well, good. You can let me in since you're covered," she answered briskly.

Roy opened his mouth, but closed it when he realized he didn't have a good reply. _Women..._ he thought irritably as he let her in and shut the door. _They're always trying to trick you..._

Leaving her in the living room, Roy retreated back to the bathroom. He finished shaving, but the small cut he'd given himself was very obvious. Feeling exasperated with himself, Roy rushed back to his bedroom and closed the door. He hadn't cut himself shaving since... he didn't even know... but it had been a long time.

Throwing on his uniform, Roy grabbed a pair of socks and rushed back to the living room. "I'm hurrying," he said hastily. Roy knew this was partially his own fault. If he hadn't tried to get out of work today by calling in, then Hakuro would have never called Hawkeye. And, of course, his lieutenant was only following the orders given her by a superior officer... After pulling on his socks and boots, Roy stood up and grabbed his wallet and keys. "Alright," he grumbled, stuffing them in his pocket. "I'm ready."

"Sir," Hawkeye said with a small smile. When he gave her a questioning look, she said, a bit of amusement in her voice, "You might want to comb your hair first..."

"My..." he said, reaching up and touching his slightly damp hair. Sure enough it was still messy from when he'd dried it with the towel. "Eh, thanks," he said and rushed back to comb it.

"Oh, and, sir?" he heard Hawkeye say loudly.

"Yeeees?" he drawled out, trying not to get irritated, but failing miserably.

"Don't forget that today is our unit's physical assessment. You'll need your workout clothes."

Roy's shoulders sagged. He'd completely forgotten about that... Of course. That's why he hadn't taken today off... Irritably slamming the comb on the counter, Roy rushed back to his bedroom and opened the closet. There, covered in a year's worth of dust, was his blue, military-issue gym bag with the military logo on it. Pulling it off the shelf, he blew on it and tried to brush the dust off. He was supposed to do physical training, or PT for short, on a regular basis. He always _meant _to, but...

"Sir?" Hawkeye called out, as if the fact that he hadn't rushed back meant that his closet had eaten him.

"Yeah, yeah..." he mumbled. Standing up, he stared unhappily at the bag again. Today was _definitely _going to be a bad day.

* * *

Ed trudged out of the elevator and plodded heavily down the hall, his boots making a dull 'thud' against the carpet each time he took a step. He was tired and really just wanted to get some sleep.

Al and he had just come from a small town close to Yuswell last night when Ed had run into one of his "friends with benefits"; Al had gone on ahead with a shake of his head, leaving the two alone. The conversation between them had been more of a fight then anything else, yet despite that, they'd ended up spending the night having incredibly hot sex.

After only three hours of sleep, Ed had dragged his ass back home where his brother ungraciously served him with the memo General Hakuro had sent for Ed to meet with him that morning. He could almost see the sadistic pleasure played out over his brother's metal face...

He and Al had generally gotten along well growing up, though that wasn't to say they didn't have their share of arguments; siblings always do. Unfortunately, puberty on Ed's part had put their fights in a whole different arena.

Ed had been a 'late bloomer', as they say, and hadn't really started physically maturing much until he'd turned fifteen. His body had begun growing, though not as much as he'd hoped for, and he'd needed to start shaving. His voice had deepened, and, wouldn't you know it... his hormones kicked in on overdrive making him see females and, surprisingly, males in a whole different light.

At first he hadn't been sure what to think of being sexually attracted to both sexes, given that he hadn't really even thought that way about females before, but like everything else in his life, he just learned to live with it. What was…was. He couldn't change it so he'd focus on what he could.

At first, Ed had been a little shy about his sexuality, after all it wasn't as if he'd thought much about that type of thing much before, but after checking out a couple of clubs, Ed found out just how exciting sex could be.

His first had been a woman much older than him. She'd been the one to approach him, a shy newcomer, and they'd talked over drinks for several hours. She'd flirted lightly with him and he'd enjoyed every minute of it. They hadn't had sex that night, nor the night after. It had taken weeks of slowly bringing him out of his embarrassed shell. At first it had been with words, then with light touches. Their conversations became more intimate until finally she took his virginity in her large four-poster bed.

He'd had sex exclusively with her for a few weeks as she taught him the most amazing things, then one night she told him that she thought he should expand his 'sexual circle'. He'd been shocked and unsure exactly what to say. Ed had told her that he enjoyed her company and he was fine with just being with her, but she'd only smiled and told him that variety was the spice of life.

He'd glumly responded that he didn't think he'd be able to find another lover. That was when his 'lessons' from her had begun. She'd been the one who had taught him about what she called 'the game'. It was how she'd gotten him to sleep with her, though he hadn't realized it at the time. It was about confidence, self-control, and willing to put yourself out there—to take risks. It wasn't about instant gratification, she'd said, since you rarely win the best 'prizes' that way. It was about finding out how people work.

It was then that Ed finally realized how she'd won him. She'd made him feel welcome when he was nervous. She'd seen that he had a brain and made intelligent conversation with him. Ed knew that if she had tried to have sex with him that first night, he would have been too nervous and too scared to do it. She knew that too, and that's what made her such a great player of the game.

Over time, Ed's skill in the game increased and so did his list of 'prizes'. It was a year later when he became someone else's 'prize' for the second time. The man was his first among men. Ed had been too uncomfortable to approach men sexually, even though he'd had the interest. The man, older than him by at least eight or nine years, was a skillful player at the game, though he didn't call it that, and by that time, Ed was skilled enough to realize what was happening, but he didn't care. He wanted to be won; he wanted to satisfy his curiosity about men.

The man introduced him to several clubs and venues that would offer him the opportunity to find men closer to Ed's own age, who were interested in other men, and Ed expanded his 'gaming' skills even more.

Ultimately, the time he spent researching the stone began to decrease as he explored this new side of him, and made many 'friends', which sent his brother, quite understandably, into a hissy-fit. There had been a major fight, Al accusing Ed of not caring anymore, Ed accusing Al of trying to treat him like a child, but in the end, they'd worked it out. Ed gave himself so much time a week to have his fun and the rest of the time he diligently spent working with Al to find the stone. Al, on his part, quit questioning Ed every time he came home, and stopped warning him about the dangers of sleeping around so much.

When he reached Hakuro's office, Ed glanced down at the paper he was holding and reread the memo before knocking on the heavy wooden door in front of him.

Well, it worked out okay now... Al still didn't like Ed's nightlife activities, given that he couldn't really understand it on a physical level, but as long as Ed got his time to date, party, and hang out with his fuck-buddies, Ed made every effort to get along with Al and focus on what they were doing.

It was the least he could do given that it was his fault Al was the way he was... It was just... he couldn't help it... He'd tried to make things like they were before, where his focus was on the stone, and the stone alone, but he found that he couldn't concentrate and got extremely grouchy... He'd ended up reading some books on the subject and felt somewhat relieved to know that what he was going through was normal for teenage boys.

"Come," the male voice from inside said. Ed folded the paper in half before opening the door and letting himself inside. Sitting behind a large, oak desk was an older man with graying hair. "Fullmetal, have a seat," General Hakuro said, waving a hand to one of the chairs in front of the desk.

Ed nodded and took a seat, shifting a bit to find a comfortable position. The slight tenderness in his ass reminded him of last night, but he pushed away the thoughts of wanting more by asking casually, "How's the wife and kids?" Ed brought a hand to his mouth to cover a yawn. Yeah, going at it again would be great _after_ he got a few more hours of sleep.

"They're well. Thank you for asking," the general said while grabbing a folder that was lying on the corner of his desk. "You're probably wondering why I called you in here." That was an understatement. Ed rarely saw General Hakuro, and when he did, they really didn't talk to each other. The general opened the folder and leafed through some papers. "You've been pretty mobile these last five years."

"It's the life of a State Alchemist; gotta be ready to go at a moment's notice," Ed replied. He was defiantly 'ready to go' at a moment's notice. He smirked at the sexual twist on the words, but instantly brought his expression to a more neutral one. Hakuro now; sex later. Of course, the very thought of putting a name in the same sentence with 'sex' made him think of it. He blinked at the older man and tried to picture him having sex. Clearing his throat, he instantly tried to think of something else. He liked older lovers, they generally knew what felt the best, but not _that_ much older.

"I'd like you to stay stationary for a time. While I think that your field experience has been beneficial, I think you're somewhat at a disadvantage given that you've never been assigned to a unit and had a specific commanding officer that you report to."

Ed nodded, though somewhat unhappily, in understanding as he saw Hakuro's point. As a state alchemist, he'd had a lot of freedom, and depending on what area he was in, that was who he reported to; unless it had to do with the stone, in which case he reported to Colonel Mustang who came up with some sort of reason for Ed to be in a specific area that might help him in his search.

Of course, when Mustang had been in the East, he'd reported to him about whatever Eastern affairs he had... Ed smirked again. _Not _those_ kind of affairs..._ he thought, though he was sure Mustang, being the playboy that Ed had heard he was, probably wouldn't have minded hearing about them. Ed fought a grin thinking that, actually, Mustang would most likely have a heart attack if he knew even a small part of Ed's personal life.

Ed liked to keep his lifestyle low key. Unlike Mustang, Ed was happy to not be known by the whole military as a playboy. He had his inner circles, in almost every part of Amestris, and that was fine with him. Of course, some military personnel, including quite a few of Mustang's key staff, knew at least a few things about him...

"I like being mobile..." Ed returned, trying to keep his mind on the matters at hand. He had no desire to be stationed somewhere that he couldn't go look for the stone. Sure he could do the research and Al could go do the searching, but... it wouldn't be the same, and Ed had a bit more access to things since he was a state alchemist, plus Ed _liked_ traveling with his brother.

"I understand that, but this isn't an option," Hakuro said flatly before holding a folder out for Ed to take.

"So where are am I supposed to be stationed?" he asked tiredly, hoping it wasn't somewhere lame, then opened the folder to scan the documents inside. His eyes found the name of his new commanding officer as Hakuro said it out loud. "I'm going to assign you to Colonel Roy Mustang here in Central."

"What?" Ed said irritably. Being stationed in Central was good; there was plenty of other... activities... he could do in his free time there. But being assigned to Mustang? Having to see the man on occasion was bad enough, but to have to see him every day was going to be torture.

General Hakuro leaned forward on his desk and gave Ed a sharp look. "Part of your orders is to watch him and make sure he's not doing anything...suspicious." Ed raised an eyebrow. "You see, Roy Mustang is really much too young for the position he holds. He's climbed the ranks too quickly, and it's a little unsettling to many of us. As long as he's a loyal member of the pack, there isn't a problem, but..."

"But?" Ed asked.

Hakuro shook his head. "You don't need to know our reasons, Fullmetal, you simply need to follow your orders. Get close to him; be a 'loyal' subordinate. Watch him and report to me."

_Get close to him?_ he thought, then pictured himself getting 'close' to Mustang in a very intimate way. It took more effort to push this thought away. Roy Mustang may be a pompous ass, but he was definitely attractive and Ed had done his share of self service with Mustang in mind.

"Why me?" Ed asked. Despite how much he didn't like Mustang's attitude, he didn't like this assignment either.

"First, he's the one who found you. I've heard that this means something to you state alchemists." Hakuro said with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Second, there are a lot of bullshit assignments in your record that he's noted as sending you on. I have a feeling he's been up to something and using you in a round-about way to do it."

Ed pressed his lips together. He'd had no idea that all of his missions were recorded. It suddenly occurred to him that Mustang might have been taking more risk to help him than he'd realized.

"What will you do if you find a problem with him?" Ed asked cautiously.

Hakuro smiled and said, "If it comes to that, he'll be taken care of."

Ed frowned. He didn't know exactly what that meant, but he had a good idea what it could mean. A younger him might have thought this would be a great opportunity to have something on Mustang to make up for the man's knowledge of Al and his human transmutation, but at seventeen he was older and a little wiser now, and he could see this could be a potentially dangerous situation for Mustang. If the colonel were to die, Ed would no longer have access to someone of higher rank willing to help him in his quest for the stone...

"Very well, sir..." Ed said, closing the folder. "I'll be sure to report anything out of the usual to you." Of course Ed was lying through his teeth. He had no intention on helping Hakuro, but better to let the general think he would help than have someone else assigned to this who might actually do it. Ed stood. "Is that all?" he asked, trying to keep himself from yawning again. He'd go report to Mustang after he had a nap...

Hakuro nodded, seeming pleased with Ed's cooperative attitude. "I expect you to report to Colonel Mustang immediately following this meeting as his unit will be busy this afternoon."

_Aw, fuck..._ Ed whined mentally.

The general handed Ed another folder and said with a grin, "Give that to the colonel with my best birthday wishes."

* * *

Roy walked into the break room and headed straight for the coffee machine. Grabbing a cup, he filled it three-fourths of the way with coffee, the other fourth with milk, then dumped in two large scoops of sugar. On his way out, he snatched one of the doughnuts from the box Breda brought in every morning, and relieved the break-room table of its newspaper before heading toward his office.

He hoped he'd be able to just hide away in his office until the assessment this afternoon. Hopefully that wouldn't take too long and he could slip out early. He made a mental note to check his book of names for someone he could spend the evening with to take his mind off this whole birthday thing.

When he reached his office, Roy tucked the newspaper under his arm, balanced his breakfast in one hand, and pushed the door open. Suddenly he stopped as the shout of "Happy Birthday!" met his ears. He glanced around at the people, then let his gaze wander around the office where black streamers and balloons decorated the walls and ceiling.

His first reaction was to turn around and escape back to the break-room, but at that moment an arm was thrown around him and Maes Hughes guided him forward.

"Happy Birthday, Roy!" the man said with a huge grin.

Roy glared at him and said softly, "If this was your idea, I swear you'll be sorry."

Hughes laughed and, snatched the coffee, doughnut, and newspaper from Roy, then walked over to the desk and put them down.

"Well, well, the big three-oh," Havoc said, pounding him on the back. "Guess this is the beginning of the end for you. More aches and pains, you won't be able to get up as quickly in the morning, or at any other time I might add! Too bad for the ladies!"

To that, everyone laughed, making Roy glare at Havoc. "If that's so, then what's your excuse?" he threw back. There was more laughter at that, though Roy didn't really feel vindicated. He should have known this would happen. His staff liked to find any excuse they could to have a party, and while it was good for their morale, it drove Roy to distraction. Suddenly he smelled smoke and looked up to see Hughes holding a birthday cake, frosted in black, with enough candles on it to declare it a fire hazard.

"Okay, everyone!" Hughes called. "One. Two. Three!" After the third count a rendition of the song "Happy Birthday" was bellowed out in a way that reminded Roy of a barnyard. After it was over, Hughes set the cake down on one of the research tables on the office and demanded that Roy come and blow them out. With a sigh of complete mortification, Roy walked over to the cake and stared dully at the blaze.

"Don't forget to make a wish!" Hughes said, then laughed. "Maybe you should wish for a wife!"

That brought more laughter. Roy glared at Hughes, then glanced around at his staff, and the few people he knew in the military well enough to call them friends, before turning his attention back to the cake. He finally decided that his wish was to get a staff member that wasn't a dumb ass. This didn't include Hawkeye, who was generally serious and level headed, but the rest of his staff definitely fell into the 'idiot' category.

Drawing in a deep breath, Roy decided at the last minute that he'd also wish for someone to have a stable relationship with, just for the hell of it. After all, he _was_ getting older and he should settle down sometime... And he would, eventually... if he found the right person... He'd met and dated plenty of great women over the years, but for some reason he'd never felt comfortable with them; at least, not in the 'dating' sense. The first few casual dates were generally great, and the romantic interest was there, but after that they ended up becoming more 'friends' than anything else.

In a way it was rather depressing. He got along so well with his dates that he now had more women friends than he knew what to do with. He had a whole book filled with their names... Truthfully, he'd given up the notion that he'd actually find someone to settle down with, and now only dated so that he wouldn't feel like a loser being home alone on Friday nights.

In a way, it was almost ironic that people thought he was such a playboy. People saw him going out with many different women all the time and just assumed that he was _romantically involved_ with these different women. Of course, Roy did push that image by bragging about how often he went out, but it made him feel more normal to do that.

For some reason he couldn't understand, women seemed to like having him as a friend even though there was no romantic interest there on his part. Some of his friends had said that it was nice to be taken out by a man and not wonder if they were going to be pushed into sex, or some said that it was nice to have a man to talk to who actually listened to them. He'd heard different explanations when he'd asked different women, but in the end he supposed it didn't matter.

It was nice to have so many friends, and still appear to be normal, because he knew for sure that there must be something seriously wrong with him. He was sure some of the women he knew would be willing to get into a relationship with him, but he just couldn't find the real interest... At first he'd thought he was afraid of commitment, but that wasn't it. Roy was committed to many things, just not to women.

He did have a few friends who he had sex with on occasions, but he never really felt satisfied. It wasn't the sex that he went for, not really—he could get himself off easily enough—it was to be held in someone's arms for a time so that he didn't feel so damn lonely. It wasn't that he wasn't interested in sex, because he was, just not with them, and he couldn't seem to figure out just what the hell was wrong with him...

Blowing out all the candles, Roy flushed at the applause, then looked up as the door suddenly opened and Edward Elric walked into the office. The teen stopped, and glanced around. He looked slightly embarrassed by all the stares, then grinned widely.

"Is someone getting _old_ in here?" he shouted.

Roy's eyes narrowed. This was someone he wasn't expecting. The last he'd heard, the kid was in the East. The only time Fullmetal came to see him was when he needed a reason to be sent somewhere, or to report on what he'd found about the stone. In either case he generally made an appointment... He glanced at Hawkeye, wondering if she'd know Ed would be here, and she shrugged.

"You only get one piece of cake," Roy said automatically, making reference to the never-ending pit called 'Ed's stomach'.

The teen shrugged and strode across the room. "I come bearing gifts from the general."

Roy took the proffered folder and glanced quickly at the contents before glaring at the cake that Hughes was now cutting up. Perhaps he should have been clearer on his wish. Just because he didn't want dumb ass staff members, didn't mean he wanted smart ass ones...

"Great birthday present, huh?" Ed said with a grin as he snatched one of the pieces of cake and a fork.

"The best," Roy said sarcastically, then said loudly, "Looks like Fullmetal here is joining the team, so I suppose we can make this a welcome party as well." There were some murmurs around the room. Breda and Havoc slapped the teen on the back in welcome, and surprisingly, Kain Fuery's face turned a light red, almost as if he were embarrassed about something.

Roy shrugged it off, grabbed two plates with cake on it and walked to Hawkeye. As he handed her one of the plates, she said, "Very well done, sir." He nodded. With that one statement he was able to get the humiliating attention off of himself and squelch the need for yet another party to welcome Fullmetal to the team.

Taking his coffee from the desk, he took a sip before hungrily starting on his breakfast, courtesy of Gracia Hughes. He watched as the Elric kid snatched another piece of cake after everyone had been served, and shook his head. General Hakuro didn't specify exactly what Roy was supposed to have Ed do under his command, as there were no job openings in his department. He'd simply said Ed was being moved under him and a position would be created so that Ed could work in the office.

In short, Hakuro had been a lazy ass and decided to let Roy figure out what Ed could do. This was probably to keep the kid out of trouble. Roy sighed and took another bite of the cake. He'd figure out something...

* * *

"Why do _I_ have to clean up this mess?" Ed complained bitterly as he yanked another streamer down. He crumpled the black paper ribbon and tossed it into the garbage can, then stared irritably at Mustang. His new commanding officer was sitting at his desk, idly reading the newspaper and sipping on his third cup of coffee... If you could call it that, Ed thought snidely. In Ed's opinion it was more like sweetened, coffee-flavored milk than anything else.

"The rest of my staff have more important things to do, Fullmetal," Mustang said lazily before turning the page in the newspaper.

Ed stalked over to the couch and plopped himself down. "Look, I'm tired," Ed said, trying to reason with the man. "We just got back to Central last night and I wasn't able to get much sleep last night." All very true. It was hard to sleep when you were either getting fucked or fucking someone else...

Mustang glanced up from the paper and raised an eyebrow. "Are you saying you can't clean up one little office without help? No wonder Hakuro decided to keep you from roaming."

Ed ground his teeth together, then said with a smirk, "You're right, this office is small. I'm sure if you were more important they'd give you a bigger one. Too bad you're too lazy to get promoted again."

"The office may be small, but it's still too big for you to handle," Mustang returned and Ed's smirk faded. With a smirk of his own, Mustang pulled out his white gloves and slipped them on. "Let me give you some help since you're too small to handle this task."

With several small snaps of his finger, the balloons around the office popped one by one as tiny sparks were produced. Pulling off his gloves, Mustang stared languidly at Ed for a moment and said in a condescending tone, "Better?"

Growling, Ed pushed himself up and stared cleaning up again. What a bastard! What a fucking bastard! Ed ranted mentally, trying to finish as quickly as possible. As he started picking up the deflated balloons he smirked and glanced over to where Mustang was reading at his desk. The balloons looked way too much like black cock socks and Ed wondered if he could actually strap up with one of them and give Mustang a _real_ birthday present!

Ed smirked and shifted. The thought made him hard almost instantly, and he glanced at Mustang again before looking down to make sure his long, red coat was buttoned closed, which it was. Tight leather pants might look great on him, but they also did nothing to hide the frequent boners he got. Throwing the last of the party decorations away, Ed started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Mustang asked. "I still need to go over some paperwork with you."

Ed turned around, rolled his eyes, and said snidely, "Gonna go take a piss; that okay with you, old man? Or should I ask your permission?"

Mustang shook his head, glanced back at the newspaper, and waved a hand. "Just come right back."

Ed let himself out of the office and smirked to himself. Oh, he planned on cumming alright, he thought as he started toward the bathroom. Suddenly, one of the doors in the hallway opened and Kain Fuery stepped out carrying a large stack of books. At this Ed grinned and sped up his pace.

"Hi, Kain," Ed said smoothly, startling the short master sergeant.

"Oh, hi…eh…Major Elric…" Fuery stammered, and glanced away with a small blush on his cheeks.

Ed leaned against the wall next to the timid man and said with a friendly smile, "You can call me 'Ed', at work you know. It's not that big of a deal."

"Eh...yeah... Sorry, Ed..."

Ed grinned. Kain Fury was one of those little prizes he'd had his eye on for some time, but he'd really had to go slow and be careful. Flirting with female personnel wasn't exactly forbidden, and everyone did it to some extent, but Fuery was a guy and that wasn't exactly smiled upon.

The man was also not one of those people he _knew_ was into men, and in fact, he wasn't really sure that the man was outright interested in doing the nasty with another guy, but Ed figured if he could make Fuery curious enough...

He didn't want any sort of real relationship with Fuery, nothing long standing, just some fun and friendly fuck sessions. The prize was nice to have, and for many people that was what made the effort worth it. But for Ed, and for those truly skilled in the game, it was the chase, not the prize, that was the best thing because the chase was the game.

The game was everything.

Without the chase, the prize had little value.

Kain stood there, shifting from foot to foot and Ed's smile widened. He'd been working on this one for a long time. Each time he came to Central, he came closer and closer to winning.

"You want some help carrying those?" Ed asked in a friendly tone and held out his hands.

"Oh, well... I'm just taking them down the hall," Fuery said slowly, though Ed was sure he wanted to take him up on the offer.

"It's not a problem," Ed said, taking some of the books. At the end of the hall was a large box of books marked for surplus and Ed put his in the box, then turned to take the ones Fuery was holding. As he did so, Ed let his hands brush against the other man's, then glanced at Kain's face as he took the books.

"So what are you doing tonight?" Ed asked casually as he put the books in the box. "I'm going to that club tonight and if you want to come, you're welcome."

"Oh, um..." Fuery stammered. "I'll need to check my calendar... I'm not sure if I already have something planned..."

Ed nodded feeling rather pleased. He and Kain had hung out on several occasions and they'd had quite a bit of fun, but as Kain realized that Ed was interested in the type of fun he usually reserved for the other gender... Well, at first the man had avoided him, but Ed wasn't detoured by that; in fact, it made him more determined. He'd never gotten a straight man to act on curiosities before and as he slowly worked with Kain, he got the impression that Kain was definitely curious, though very unsure. Even if they only had a one night stand to satisfy those curiosities, Ed would be happy because he would have done it. He would have played a difficult and challenging game, and won.

But for Kain to say that he would check his calendar meant that he was seriously thinking of going out with Ed tonight. Perhaps tonight would be the night. Ed glanced at Fuery.

Maybe.

"Sure," Ed said more causally than he felt. Patience had never been his strong point, but it was imperative in this. "Just let me know."

Kain nodded and wandered off, leaving Ed by the box. Ed watched him go, then started again toward the bathroom. After entering the men's room, Ed glanced around to make sure he was alone, then chose a stall and locked it behind him. Unbuttoning his coat, Ed dropped his pants and freed his hard erection. Licking his lips, Ed closed his eyes and started stroking himself.

His imagination took over and he thought of Kain Fuery bent over with his cock up the man's ass. It was a nice sight and he relished it a moment before the image changed to Mustang, on his knees with Ed's penis in his mouth. Ed grinned as he pumped faster, thinking that was _definitely_ the right use for Mustang's mouth.

It didn't take long for him to cum, it rarely did, and Ed leaned over, letting the cum squirt into the toilet. Tiredness washed over him again and he sat heavily, straddling the toilet seat with his face toward the wall. Grabbing a square of toilet paper, Ed wiped the last bit of cum off the tip of his cock. He stared at it and idly played with it by pulling the foreskin up to cover the head as it shrunk in an effort to put off going back to Mustang's office.

One of the most interesting things he'd found when he'd started doing other guys was the fact that most of the city men were circumcised, but in the small towns and outlying settlements, that wasn't something that was practiced. Ed rather liked his hooded warrior how it was, but he had a thing for guys without...

Ed's head snapped up as the door to the men's room opened and he heard footsteps to the urinals. Sighing, he let go of himself, stood up, and flushed before pulling his pants back up. Letting himself out of the stall, Ed glanced over to see Colonel Mustang taking a leak. As he walked toward the sink he caught a glimpse of the other man's cock and smiled a little to himself at the size. Perhaps it was true, the saying that men with big egos had big dicks.

Not able to resist the opportunity to jab at the other man, Ed said, "What's the matter? Can't hold your bladder as much now that you're so old?"

"Actually, I'd thought maybe you'd fallen in, given how small you are, and thought I'd check on you," Mustang returned easily, flushing the urinal and zipping up his pants.

Ed growled and scrubbed his hands more vigorously under the running water, trying to think of something to counter that with, but he couldn't think of anything so he simply dried his hands and stalked out of the restroom.

When he reached Mustang's office, Ed threw himself on one of the couches. Stretching out, he rested his feet on one of the armrests and positioned one of the cushions under his head before laying one of his arms across his eyes.

He'd started dozing off when he heard Mustang entering the office and the door shutting. Ed caught something about going over paperwork, and some sort of physical assessment that he'd have to do today with the rest of them, but it all went in one ear and out the other as his body relaxed and he fell asleep.

* * *

Roy looked down at the teen sleeping on one of the office couches and shook his head before going back to his desk. He could wake Fullmetal up, but he actually wanted to get a nap in himself. He sat in his chair and wrote a small note, then looked up as the door opened and Lieutenant Hawkeye walked in with a stack of folders.

"Oh, come on, have mercy..." he mumbled, then said lamely, "You wouldn't push that much work on me today, of all days, would you? It is my birthday, after all..." He didn't think it would work, but it was worth a try.

Laying the folders down on his desk, she stared at him for a moment before reaching over and plucking a bow out of the garbage can and resting it on top of the stack.

"Happy birthday, sir," she said, then walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

"Not funny..." he growled, flicking his finger at the bow.

* * *

Ed slowly became aware that he was lying, not on his bed, but on a couch... Grunting, he turned over onto his side and opened his eyes, then started in surprise at seeing Colonel Mustang sleeping next to him. He blinked a couple more times and his heart began to settle down as he realized that Mustang was sleeping on the couch across from him, not right next to him, and they were both clothed.

Of course, the thought of sleeping naked with Mustang gave him an instant hard-on and he wondered idly what Mustang would do if Ed decided to jerk off in his office. Probably kill him, he supposed. Ed smirked. He was bold, but not _that_ bold.

Trying to ignore his body, Ed stood up and stretched before walking over to look down at his commanding officer. He folded his arms, cocked his head, and searched Mustang's face. The colonel was actually quite peaceful looking when he was asleep. The man had a slight baby-face that was only more prominent when he was asleep. He actually looked _younger_ when he was sleeping, and it threw Ed off for a moment.

His eyes wandered down Mustang's uniform. The man's hands were ungloved and Ed thought they looked kind of soft, which would make sense given that Mustang worked at a desk. Ed took in the rest of the man's body, and he wondered what the colonel looked like in civilian clothing, or naked for that matter. Truthfully, the closest he'd seen the colonel without a uniform on was when they'd had their mock fight and Mustang had taken off his uniform jacket when they were fixing the area.

Mustang shifted and a lock of hair moved over his eye. Ed smirked and reached down to move it up. _I guess I can see why all the women stare at you..._ Ed thought. His hand paused before touching the hair, and he slipped the glove off his flesh hand. He reached down again. When he touched the lock of hair, he was slightly surprised at how soft and fine it was. Ed's own hair was thick and coarse.

He gently rubbed the strands between his fingers, careful not to wake Mustang, and wondered what it would feel like to have his hands threaded through the colonel's hair in the throes of passion. Ed sighed, straightened, and put his glove back on. He knew it was probably impractical, but he wanted more than to just touch Mustang's hair. He felt like a little kid in front of an ice cream store who only gets one little taste. He'd fantasized about Mustang before, though more in the realm of what wasn't possible given that the colonel was so much a lady's man. Getting Mustang would be a big challenge; much more difficult than getting Fuery.

But, he wanted Roy Mustang.

He wanted him _very_ much...

Ed pressed his lips together in determination. Yes, it would be a test of his abilities, but he could do it. He loved the challenge, the chase, and like any skilled player of the game, he never quit until he won.


	2. Physical Assessment

**The Game**

**2**

**Physical Assessment**

Roy opened his eyes when he felt himself being shaken and found himself staring up into Edward Elric's large golden eyes.

"Hey," Fullmetal said with a small smirk. "Naptime's over, grandpa."

Roy glared and tried to move, but he realized Ed's hand, which was holding onto his arm, was also holding him in place. He glanced up and said blandly, "You can let go of me now, I'm awake."

Ed stared into his eyes for a moment, not moving his hand, then squeezed a little bit and said, "When was the last time you worked out, colonel? Is this really your arm or do you just have extra padding in your jacket to keep you warm? I've heard old people get cold easily..."

Ed probably would have said more if Roy hadn't pushed him away and sat up. The teen laughed and said, "Hawkeye told me to wake you up for some physical assessment." Roy groaned involuntarily and scrubbed a hand through his hair. Ed smirked. "Hawkeye and the rest already went a while ago." Turning, Ed raised a hand. "Well, I guess I'll go find something to do. Later!"

"Wait," Roy barked. Ed turned back and gave him a questioning look. Roy grinned. If he had to suffer, then what better thing to make him feel better than to make Ed suffer too... "You're under my command now so you'll be taking the assessment like everyone else."

"What?" Ed crowed unhappily. "That's not fair! I just got transferred today."

Roy shrugged, then stood up. "Not my problem, Fullmetal."

The teen folded his arms stubbornly. "I don't have my gym clothes with me."

"I'm sure Kain Fuery has an extra set," Roy countered, walking over to where he'd set his gym bag.

"We're not the same size," he heard Ed say.

"Close enough."

"Hardly..." Ed muttered.

Roy glanced at the teen. "Fine, go naked," he challenged smartly. Instead of balking like Roy thought he would, Ed simply smirked at him before turning around and heading toward the door.

"Sounds good to me," Ed said lightly, then waved a hand and let himself out of the room.

Roy blinked, not sure what to think about that. Surely Ed wouldn't really... After a moment of thought about how troublesome Ed could be, Roy decided that Ed probably would, which definitely would _not_ do. Scrambling out of the office, Roy hurried after Ed, determined not to let the kid make an ass out of them both.

* * *

Rounding the corner, Roy saw Ed sitting hunched over by Kain Fuery's locker. When he saw Roy coming, the teen sat up straight and gave him a questioning look. In response, Roy tossed the key to Ed and said, "He says it's fine if you use his extra set, but you'll need to wash them before returning them."

Ed caught the key deftly and made an exasperated sound before turning and unlocking the locker. Roy frowned as he remembered the scowl he'd gotten from the sergeant in charge of the testing. The man would have to stay late to get both his and Ed's test results since they were late in coming. Of course, he wouldn't say anything to them directly, but most likely the man would make a note of it on their results for Hakuro to see.

Taking the extra clothes out of the locker, Ed quickly pulled off his long, red coat, and black, silver-lined jacket, letting them flop to the floor before yanking off his black tanktop. The teen swore several times when the fabric got caught in one of the shoulder joints of the automail before finally getting it off.

Roy, still standing where he'd been when he tossed Ed the key, let his eyes move over the teen's body. Though Ed was short, he was well built and muscular in a way that made him almost jealous. Well... it _did_ make him jealous; he just didn't want to admit it to himself.

Ed bent over and grabbed the clothing from the floor. He started stuffing them into his own locker, but in the normal 'Ed' style, he was having a hard time of it. Roy watched, entranced, as the teen's lithe body moved and he had the urge to go over and run his hands over Ed's skin.

Not that he would. It was out of the question. You just didn't walk up to someone—your subordinate, someone of the same gender, and someone so much younger than you—and just touch them. Besides, Ed might think it was something other than what it was... it wasn't that he _meant_ anything by it, he'd just always had an interest in the male body; the way it worked and how it looked. He didn't know why he did, he simply did, but it wasn't as if it meant anything other than that.

* * *

Ed smirked to himself. He could _feel_ Mustang's eyes on him. This was good. Not that it meant anything, but looking was a good start. He took his time stuffing his clothes in his locker. In fact, he pretended he was having a difficult time to give the man more time to stare at him.

Finally, Ed undid his belt and started taking off his pants. It was then that he heard the colonel walk over to his own locker and open it. Ed frowned. He'd kind of hoped Mustang would watch him undress completely, but that was probably too much to hope for.

As he finished stripping off his clothes and started dressing himself in Kain Fuery's clothes, he could hear Mustang pulling his gym clothes out of the bag and muttering to himself; something about 'lots of dust' and 'stupid evaluation' and 'birthday', making Ed smile to himself.

After pulling on Fuery's pants, which were actually not a bad fit, Ed looked behind him in time to see Mustang pulling off his white dress shirt and hanging it neatly on one of the hooks in the locker.

He cocked his head as he inspected the man from behind. Roy Mustang didn't have a bad looking body, and, in fact, the man had a pretty good natural build on him. It was obvious that Mustang wasn't very physically active though. He was rather fleshy and soft looking; not fat, no, not even chubby, not really, but one could definitely tell by looking at him that he'd spent too many long hours in his chair with his 'coffee flavored milk', doughnut-breakfasts, and the unhealthy convenience meals that made up the dietary intake of the average bachelor population.

Ed hurriedly pulled on Fuery's shirt, and frowned when he realized that his shoulders were a little too broad for the shirt. He glanced again at Mustang who was now putting on his own gym tee-shirt. It was fascinating, actually. This was the first time he'd seen Mustang out of uniform at all. Of course, now that he'd decided to go after the colonel, he expected to see him out of uniform more often.

Sitting down, Ed watched interestedly as Mustang continued to change. Next the man pulled off his military pants and folded them neatly before putting them into the locker. That didn't interest him as much as staring at the colonel's rear and legs did. Mustang was wearing tan, plaid boxer shorts. Ed shook his head. Too boring. He'd need to be sure to get Mustang into something sexier once he won him.

His eyes traveled down Mustang's legs which were lightly covered with thin, black hairs. Ed smirked, wondering about the colonel's _other_ hair. He also kind of wished Mustang would have been facing him with his shirt off. It would have been nice to see how much hair covered his chest...

Ed watched in disappointment as the colonel pulled on the gray, military-issue workout sweats. It was then, that Ed got an idea of how he was going to spend more time with the man. With a grin, Ed said, "You don't use those much, do you?"

"What?" the man asked irritably and turned to give Ed a flat stare.

"Your workout clothes; you don't use them much, do you?" he repeated.

Instead of answering, Mustang closed the locker, sat down, and pulled on his gym shoes. When he was done, the colonel stood and said, "Hurry up, Fullmetal."

Ed grinned, stood, and followed after Mustang. "I'm only taking my time to accommodate you, old man."

* * *

As they headed out to the track, Roy could see that most of the people were already finished, or barely finishing up. Looking around, Roy could see his office staff standing around chatting and stretching out.

"Roy Mustang," a voice said behind him, and Roy turned to see the sergeant in charge of the fitness evaluations. He looked to be about Roy's age, but Roy knew that the sergeant was actually a couple years older. He'd held this position for many years, and once Roy had asked him why he didn't try to get promoted and look for something that would pay better. It turned out that the man liked his job and that advancing in the ranks didn't interest him in the slightest.

"Sergeant Davis," Roy said in greeting. "I apologize for being late." Roy might be higher in rank, but it was Davis's report that went to Hakuro at the end of the day and it was simply more beneficial to be courteous and friendly, than try to throw his rank around.

Davis shook his head, making one lock of his wavy, brown hair fall almost into his eye. "You can buy me a drink later to make up for me having to stay to evaluate you and..." He looked at his clipboard. "Major Elric."

"That would be me," Ed spoke up behind the sergeant.

Davis turned and Roy saw his eyebrows shoot up in surprise before saying, "Well, they were right. You really do look like a grade scho—" The sergeant suddenly cut off when he saw how deeply Ed was scowling at him and how red his face was becoming.

Clearing his throat, the sergeant said, "Why don't we come over here?" Turning, he beckoned them to follow him close to the track. When he got there, Davis said, "Alright, we'll start with the push-ups. You need thirty-five in one minute."

"Is that it?" Ed asked with a smirk as he settled into position.

Roy grumbled under his breath. Was that _it_? Thirty-five in one minute was plenty for him... It used to be twenty...

When they were both in position, Davis said, "Ready... begin."

_One, two, three, four..._ Roy counted in his head. It didn't take long for his arms to begin burning, and by fifteen he was ready to quit. As he forced himself on, Roy glanced over at Ed who was grinning manically at him and was doing his pushups with one arm. Roy growled deep in his throat when he realized that the arm Ed was using was his automail arm.

"Time!" Davis barked, then began scribbling on his notepad. "Major Elric... fifty-seven. Colonel Mustang..." The sergeant stopped and glanced at Roy with a look that Roy knew well. "Twenty-seven..." Roy's shoulders sagged a little. Every year he was getting further away from what he was supposed to be able to do...

"Right, then," the sergeant said. "Sit-ups. Thirty in one minute." He waited until they were in position, then gave them the 'go'.

As Roy huffed and puffed, trying to ignore the pain in his middle, Ed called out, "This is the easiest thing ever!"

"Shut. Up. Ed," Roy huffed irritably, and tried to come up with excuses as to why Ed would be able to do more than him. The kid was younger, and smaller... Though that didn't account for the extra weight of the automail arm, his mind reasoned, and Ed was a fighter so he would obviously be more...

"Time!" Davis called. Roy flopped down to the ground and rubbed his stomach with a groan. "Major Elric... fifty-one. Colonel Mustang... twenty-eight."

"By my count, I had thirty," Roy lied.

Davis looked at him blandly, and Roy was pretty sure the man knew he was lying, but instead of calling him on it, he erased what he'd written and jotted something else down instead.

"Thirty it is," the sergeant said, then added, "I think you owe me two drinks." He looked up at Roy. "For staying after, of course..."

"Of course," Roy said easily, then said, "Though I think you deserve three actually," then began rubbing one of his upper arms.

Davis nodded, erased something and rewrote something else. "Three it is."

Roy stood up and grunted in satisfaction. Another reason he really liked Davis... If it hadn't been for him, Roy would have already had problems. Roy glanced over and saw Ed scowling darkly at him, then at Davis, then back at Roy before rolling his eyes and walking over to the track.

"Alright, we just have the mile and a half run left. Major, you need to be around the course between nine minutes, forty-one seconds and ten minutes, forty-eight seconds. Colonel," Davis said turning to look at Roy. "Ten minutes, forty-six seconds and twelve minutes flat."

"Hey... why does he get more time?" Ed complained. "Not that I need more time, but that seems a bit like favoritism to me."

Davis smiled and said, "Actually, it depends on age. You probably never realized it before since we generally split the units that come into age groups, but that's how it is. Once you hit twenty you'll be in the same age group as the colonel. It's between twenty and twenty-nine. Now, if you—"

"Wait," Roy said in a pathetically eager tone. "I'm thirty now. I get more time." The sergeant gave him a disbelieving look, and Roy said, "No, really. Today's my birthday." He turned to Ed. "Right?"

"Yep," Ed said. "We had cake and black streamers for him this morning." The teen stopped then said with a grin, "The only thing that was missing was the birthday spankings." Roy shook his head feeling a little embarrassed. That was a little more information than he'd rather have shared...

"Alright..." Davis conceded and scribbled something on the paper. "They probably just didn't have it updated with that information." A little more scribbling, then, "You have between eleven minutes, one second and twelve minutes, thirty seconds."

"Like that little bit of time is going to help," Ed scoffed and walked out onto the track.

Stoically ignoring the teen, Roy followed him onto the track and waited for Davis to give the signal.

"Ready... GO!" Davis called, and Roy took off as fast as he could.

Ed easily kept pace with him and said, "You're not going to be able to keep that up."

Roy glared at him, but Ed was right. Already he was starting to slow and his breathing was too heavy. His heart was beating quickly and he knew that he'd have to slow down soon. As he slowed, Ed slowed with him.

"At this pace you won't make it," Ed said smartly. "Come on, lazy ass. The great Flame having a hard time? Is that because you're getting old or because you've always sucked?"

"Just go do your assessment, Fullmetal," Roy barked angrily as he slowed to a walk. The last thing he needed was for this _brat_ to be taunting him like this. He was fully aware of how out of shape he was, but it wasn't as if he _needed_ to be in shape. Even out in the field, Roy worked at long distance, and the only real effort he needed to put into things was to snap his fingers and work the alchemy—none of which required him to be physically outstanding.

"Yes, _sir_," Ed cried mockingly, and began to make exaggerated running motions.

With wounded pride, Roy growled deep in his throat and took off running again, and when he caught up with Ed, Roy pushed the kid hard, knocking him down before leaving him behind.

_That_ felt really good, and it put him in a much better mood despite the fact that he soon had to return to a quick walk. Suddenly, Roy felt himself pushed forward from behind and landed hard on his hands and knees.

"Fucker!" Ed snarled. Roy groaned as he pushed himself back to his feet and saw that the skin on his hands had been somewhat pealed off and in some places he was starting to bleed. His knees also hurt and he could feel something warm and wet trickling down his shin. Roy turned and saw that Ed's arm was also skinned and that it was also beginning to bleed a little.

"You do know that attacking your superior officer is a punishable offense, don't you," Roy asked flatly as he started walking again.

"Fuck you," Ed said. "You pushed me first."

"You deserved it..." Roy muttered under his breath.

"Jeez, and you call _me_ immature," Ed continued on.

Roy glanced at him and said, "You are. Any _mature_ person wouldn't have been trying to taunt me like that."

"Oh yeah? And any mature _adult_ wouldn't go around pushing kids over," Ed countered.

"I thought you weren't a kid," Roy said smartly, and watched as Ed's face took on an impressive shade of pink.

"I'm _not_ a kid. I stopped being a kid a long time ago," Ed growled. "You think you know me, but you don't. You don't know anything about me, not really, so don't act as if you do."

"Nor do I really want to know anything about you, Ed," Roy returned. "I didn't ask for you to be transferred to my unit. Why Hakuro gave you to me is beyond my knowledge. For all I know, it was his idea of a warped birthday gift. I don't even have a job for you to do yet. Right now, you're just a pain in my ass."

Ed stared at him for a moment, then pressed his lips together in a tightly controlled smirk. Roy frowned in confusion, then tried to shake it off. Who knew what went on in the kid's head...

"Okay, fine, whatever," Ed finally said, then took off running at full speed. It was then, that Roy remembered that he was being evaluated and cursed out loud before starting to jog quickly. His knees burned as he switched from jogging to walking several times and when he reached Davis, he was out of breath and in desperate need of a drink of water.

"So the old man finally made it!" Ed exclaimed from where he was stretching on the grass. Ignoring him, Roy walked to the sergeant and looked down at his time, then winced.

"You did really bad this time," Davis said quietly.

"Well, I had a few little problems," he said irritably.

The sergeant nodded. "I saw..."

Roy sighed, "Look, just fudge it and I'll pay you back."

Davis dropped his arm holding the clipboard and tapped it against his side. His eyes held a considering look, then he said, "Colonel... I've been covering your ass for _years_ now. The whole point of this is to be sure you're at least in _good_ shape incase you get called out."

"Yes, but I don't need—" Roy began but was cut off.

"I understand what you do," Davis said somberly. "I was in Ishbal during the war. I know all too well, but colonel..." He trailed off, sighed, then said, "I think it would do you some good if something forced you to get into shape and I think that failing the test would do that for you."

Roy felt dismay at that, but kept his face impassive. "If I fail twice I get discharged..."

"You'll have a whole year to improve," Davis said as if explaining it to a child.

"Yes, but it will still be on my record."

The two men stared at each other for a few moments, and Roy realized that he wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of this one. Suddenly, from behind them, a voice said, "I have an idea."

They turned to see Ed standing there with his arms folded, and Roy scowled at the realization that the teen had been listening to the whole conversation.

"What?" Roy growled in displeasure.

Ed smiled smugly at him, then said to Davis, "What if you passed him on the condition that he be able to pass all of this with flying colors in six months."

Davis frowned. "I don't really see that happening."

"What if I worked with him?" Ed offered. "I could be his personal trainer or something."

Roy's lips pulled down into an unhappy frown. He wasn't sure he liked the sound of that, but the alternative wasn't any better... "I'm sure I could do it on my own..." Roy said, not really wanting anyone's help with this, let alone Ed's.

"Outside help is better," Ed reasoned. "I can see problems that you can't. Plus, I need something to do, right? I need some sort of job and unless you can think of something better..."

"What do I get out of this?" Davis asked with a raised eyebrow.

Ed grinned. "Whatever Mustang was going to pay you, _and_ I'll double that."

Roy blinked in surprise, and Davis instantly nodded in agreement. "I think that's acceptable."

Ed looked at Roy with a raised eyebrow. "Well?" he asked. When Roy hesitated in answering, Ed said, "Look at me. I'm totally fit. I can get you there too. Come on! This is totally my thing!" It was almost as if Ed _wanted_ Roy to say yes, which made him feel more than a little suspicious.

"I don't know..." Roy murmured hesitantly.

Ed rolled his eyes and said, "Don't be an idiot. This is a good opportunity. I'll even teach you how to fight," he added.

"Why would I need to know that?" Roy asked irritably. "I'm a long range weapon. I normally don't go into the thick of battle."

"Well, for one, it will totally whip your ass into shape, and, for another, you never know what could happen. You might need hand to hand combat skills one day."

Ed's points were all good, but...

"Take the offer or I'm failing you," Davis spoke up. "It will be good for you."

With a sigh of exasperation, Roy hesitantly agreed, and cringed inwardly when he saw the predatory grin Ed gave him. He had a bad feeling the next six months were going to be hell...

* * *

**A/N:** The jogging time limits given are actual assessment figures for cardiovascular fitness tests. It's sort of the mid point. If a person is within that range their cardiovascular fitness is said to be 'good'. There are six categories: Very Poor, Poor, Fair, Good, Excellent, and Superior. I chose 'good' for their fitness test because that seemed like a reasonable cut off area.

**Please Review.**


	3. Doughnuts

**-**

**The Game**

**3**

**Doughnuts**

**-  
**Ed yawned widely and glanced around the empty neighborhood. At this early hour no one was out and about; in fact, the sun hadn't even crested over the horizon yet. He smiled a little as he walked. Mustang was lucky it was still August. In another month it would be dark this time of the morning.

Pulling a piece of paper from his pocket, Ed compared it to the place he was close to, then nodded to himself before stuffing it back in his pocket. Ed pulled out the copy of Mustang's house key that he'd made—without Mustang's knowledge or consent—the day before. He'd mentioned to Mustang that he was going to come by in the mornings and that he'd drop by here and there, he just hadn't mentioned that he'd be letting himself in. Without hesitation, Ed slipped the key into the lock until it clicked, then let himself inside.

Ed looked around the dim living room with interest. He'd never been to the colonel's place before and he hadn't been exactly sure what to expect. To Ed, it seemed that Mustang kept his place in good order for a male bachelor. It wasn't spotless, but it wasn't dirty either. 'Lived in' would probably be the best way to describe it. Nothing was new, but all the furniture was well kept and looked comfortable.

With a shrug, Ed stuffed the key back into his pocket and headed to where he figured Mustang's bedroom would be. When he got there, Ed again looked around the dim room curiously. It was smaller than he'd imagined it would be and very decorated. For some reason he'd thought that a playboy like Roy Mustang would have a real pimped out place to take the ladies.

A mental image came to his mind of Mustang dressed in a slick, white suit with women all around him on a huge bed in a brightly lit room that shined and sparkled. It was an effort to keep in the laugh that wanted to come out since he wasn't quite ready to wake Mustang up yet, and instead he ended up snorting softly.

Ed grinned as he thought about his plan. It had taken a little persuasion on his part, but Mustang had finally agreed to let Ed be in control of his new 'fitness and weight loss' plan. Ed couldn't train someone who wasn't committed, and he'd drilled that fact into the man as often as he could over the remainder of the day.

It had been obvious that Mustang had been less than pleased with giving Ed a little bit of authority over him, but Ed had insisted and promised that he would be just as professional as his own teacher. What he'd failed to mention was that his teacher was one tough-ass bitch. He didn't dislike Izumi, on the contrary he respected her a lot, but he hadn't exactly thought highly of her those first months of training.

Ed walked a little into the bedroom and took note of the articles of clothing—dirty, he presumed—that dotted the floor here and there. None of the clothes were military issue though. Those he could see hanging neatly in the closet.

Moving close to the bed—which was neither a king nor a queen size as he'd supposed Mustang would own, but a full—Ed looked down at the sleeping man and thought of the day before when Mustang had been asleep on the couch. For some reason the sight of the colonel sleeping really drew him in. Mustang looked relaxed in his sleep. Ed had never seen Mustang look so relaxed while awake. He seemed kind of vulnerable and Ed liked that—liked it _a lot_.

Ed grinned widely, suddenly imagining himself in that bed with Mustang. They could have a whole hell of a lot of fun in that bed, or on the floor, or on the couch... Hell, Ed wasn't picky; they could do it wherever Mustang wanted to do it. He just needed to convince the colonel that he wanted it just as much as Ed did.

Reaching down, Ed rubbed at his cock through his sweatpants. The thought of fucking with Mustang made him so hard that he was tempted to use the man's bathroom to jerk off before waking him. He was tempted, but he wouldn't. He had things to do right now, but hopefully it would all pay off and he'd have Mustang where he wanted him soon enough. Moving his hand away from his groin, Ed walked to the light switch and flipped it on.

"Good morning, Colonel!" Ed shouted brightly and watched in amusement as the man sat up quickly in surprise. Amusement turned to interest and curiosity as the man quickly raised one bare hand, ready to snap, and was looking around wildly even before his eyes had adjusted to the light.

Ed liked that Mustang had the ability to be quick and act on reflex. He tried to imagine reflexes like that being used in bed, and he liked what he imagined; liked it enough that it made his penis throb. Normally, he considered the colonel to be on the slow side—not mentally, but more considering, more calculating, not as swift to act. Ed tended to be quick, acting on impulse. Of course, that had served to bring him trouble on several occasions, but he still preferred his methods to that of the colonel's.

When he realized who had turned on the lights, Mustang growled, "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm here to whip your ass into shape," Ed said brightly. "Excited?"

The colonel stared at him uncomprehending for a moment, then closed his eyes and sighed as he remembered his deal with Ed and Davis. Slowly, Mustang turned his head and glanced at the alarm clock by his bed before flopping back onto the mattress.

"You're joking, right?"

Ed shook his head. "Nope! Now get your ass out of bed before I have to come pull you out."

"You know that coming into my house without permission is paramount to breaking and entering, don't you?" Mustang growled.

"You can call the police after your workout," Ed said. "Now are you getting up, or am I going to help you out of bed?"

"I still have 'nothr couple of hours before I have t'be up," the colonel half growled, half whined, then pulled the pillow over his head and laid still.

Ed grinned widely as he walked over to the bed. He was really going to enjoy this. Reaching down, Ed grabbed the pillow and tossed it on the floor before grabbing a hold of the sheet and blanket and tugging on them. Apparently Mustang had anticipated this move and had grabbed a hold of them because Ed found that they weren't moving. Okay... that was fine. Ed kicked his sneakers off and slid under the covers, since Mustang was only holding the tops of the sheet and blanket.

"What are you doing?!" Mustang choked; letting go of the blankets in his surprise. In that moment, Ed kicked them back off of them, then looked at Mustang.

"What's more important? Another couple hours of sleep or keeping your job?" Ed asked, trying to keep his eyes locked on Mustang's instead of checking out his body.

Mustang stared back at him for a long moment, then growled, "Okay, fine. Get out of my bed."

"Not until you do," Ed returned.

Mumbling to himself, the colonel slipped out the bed. Ed eyed him, glad to finally have the chance to study the man's body. Mustang was naked except for some tan boxers. Ed shook his head. Really, where the hell did this man get his underwear? But the ugly boxers only kept his attention long enough for him to check out where the fabric tented out from the man's morning wood.

Ed grinned to himself. _I'll be seeing you later..._ he thought, promising both himself and Mustang's cock before moving on. He wanted to get a good look at Mustang's chest, now that he was getting the opportunity. Like his legs, thin black hairs lightly covered Mustang's chest. That wasn't bad at all. Ed liked a little bit of hair on a man, but he didn't like those guys who were covered thickly in it.

Ed watched as Mustang slowly plodded over to his workout bag, thrown carelessly against one wall, and pulled out his gym clothes. He eyed Mustang's ass for a moment, then sighed and got out of the man's bed. Pulling on his sneakers, Ed said, "Hurry up! We don't have all day! Don't tell me you were this lazy in basic training."

"This _isn't_ basic training," Mustang growled irritably.

Ed hadn't gone through basic training because he'd come into the military through passing the state alchemy exam, but he'd heard that Mustang had joined the regular army first before becoming a state alchemist. He'd also heard what basic training was like and thought that the training he received under Izumi's hand had been much more difficult.

"You're right, this isn't basic training," Ed said, resisting the urge to give Mustang's rear a slap. "I don't work like those pansies in the military. They're way too nice to you in basic."

At this, Mustang stopped in the middle of pulling on his shirt and stared at him in disbelief. Ed flashed him the most charming smile he could come up with and felt amused at the sudden look of nervousness that was spreading over the man's face. Ed couldn't help laughing when he saw that look, then shook his head, deciding he'd poked fun at Mustang enough for now. Time to get down to business.

"No really," Ed said a little more serious now. "I'm going to push you hard, and I expect you to work hard, but I'm not going to try to kill you and I won't push you more than I think you can handle. I want you to succeed." Mustang's success would mean better eye candy for Ed. Besides, if he didn't get Mustang into shape, it would make Ed look like a bad trainer. He gave Mustang his best 'concerned' look to accompany what he'd just said. He wanted to get on the colonel's good side; it was the first step to winning his prize, but that would be slow in coming and it would take little 'mature inserts' in their normal bitching routine to get that ball rolling.

Mustang stared at Ed for a moment in consideration, then sighed—which turned into a yawn. "Fine... fine..." the colonel grumbled, then pulled on his workout pants before sitting on the bed and starting to put on his shoes.

The yawn was contagious and Ed yawned widely. He'd stayed out far later than he should have. He'd ended up going to the club with Kain and they'd talked quite a bit. There had even been a little under the table touching of Kain's leg. Ed had a feeling he'd be able to get Kain's ass before the month was over now that he was stationed in Central permanently.

Mustang stood and Ed pulled his mind away from last night and to the present. "Let's sit down for a minute," Ed said, walking over to Mustang's bed and sitting down. "You don't mind that I sit here, right?" he asked with a 'not that it matters because I'm going to do it anyway' grin. The colonel scowled, but he said nothing and sat down next to Ed on the bed.

"I'm going to write all this up for you, but I just wanted to tell you what to expect before we get started," Ed said. "I'm gonna be over here every morning at this time. Expect it. If you're not ready to go when I get here, you'll get extra of whatever I decide to dish out at you." Ed paused to see if Mustang would say anything, but when he didn't, Ed continued, "We're also going to exercise after work."

"What?!" Mustang protested. "We're already working out in the morning."

"Cry me a river," Ed said, rolling his eyes. "We'll be using the military facilities, so be sure to meet me down there at five-thirty. In the mornings we'll jog there, work out, then we'll jog back here so that you can get ready for the day, eat, and all that shit."

Ed reached over and grabbed at Mustang's side, to which the man jumped a little and scooted away. "Exercise alone isn't going to help you lose that," Ed said, reaching over to poke at Mustang's side again. "You have to change your eating habits too." Ed smirked and thought of something he'd like the colonel to put in his mouth.

"Now wait a minute," Mustang said in an offended tone. "There's nothing wrong with my eating habits."

Ed stared at Mustang, then raised an eyebrow. "You're joking, right? From what I've seen you're lucky you're not morbidly obese."

"I'm not that bad," Mustang said irritably. "Besides, you eat a _lot_ more than me."

"Uh… yeah, but I'm a lot more active _and_ I don't usually eat the kind of crap you do," Ed said. "You got to lose the sweets and the packaged food." When Mustang just gave him a blank look, Ed had the urge to drop his face into his hands. Did Mustang not even _realize_ all the shit he ate every day?"

"Like what?" the colonel finally asked.

"For starters, forget the doughnuts. Breda has a gut like he does for a reason. Also, cut down on what you add in your coffee. Hell, limit how much coffee you drink, period. It will help you sleep better. Same with soda and liquor. Those you should probably just stop drinking completely. Empty calories and all that."

"No alcohol..." Mustang didn't seem pleased with that one.

"Drink water," Ed said flatly, then said at the disbelieving expression on Mustang's face, "It's not like you can't go out for a drink or two on the weekend, but limit it, jeez..."

There was a long moment of silence, then Mustang said petulantly, "I buy packaged food because I can't cook."

That didn't surprise Ed at all; in fact, he was counting on it. "Fine. I'll come over in the evenings and teach you how to cook," he offered, making his tone sound put out. He didn't want the colonel to know that he _wanted_ to come over to his house every night. Mustang made a face, and Ed said, "What? You got a problem with that?" It almost seemed like Mustang was going to say something, but then he shook his head. "Good," Ed continued. "But you know, if I'm going to teach you how to cook, then you've got to let me eat at your place." He smirked when Mustang just glowered at him.

"Alright, fine," Mustang said, sounding a little displeased.

"It's just for six months," Ed said, standing and looking down at Mustang. He felt confident that he'd be able to bed Mustang by then. Hopefully by the time Mustang passed his fitness test—and he _would_, Ed would make sure of it—he'd be able to start traveling again.

"Okay!" Ed said, rubbing his hands together in eager anticipation. "Ready to start?" The disgusted glare Mustang gave him was enough to make him laugh. This was going to be _really_ fun.

* * *

Roy rested his head on his desk and closed his eyes. He was so tired and the day wasn't even half over yet. The morning workout had been more of a morning teaching session than anything else, which Roy was completely fine with since it meant he didn't have to do as much.

They had jogged and walked at intervals to the military gym. One minute at a slow jog, three minutes at a moderate walk. According to Ed, each week they would pick it up bit by bit. When they got to the gym, Ed took Roy around to each machine and showed him how to 'properly' use them and had Roy use each one once just to check it out. Ed 'introduced' him to the free weights and talked a little about correct form and using the right weights, and how they'd be going over more of that later. He also talked about stretching, heart rate, being properly hydrated, and why it was important to eat or not eat specific foods when trying to gain muscle and lose fat.

Some of what Ed had said Roy already knew, but a lot he didn't, and he'd actually been impressed with Ed's knowledge in that area. Not only that, but he'd been impressed with the way Ed handled himself. There were times when they both snapped at each other, but on the whole, Ed was taking this very seriously.

That was something Roy had worried about. Ed's idea of 'professional' generally left something to be desired, and he'd been concerned that this would just be some sort of game to the teen. He didn't need to be subjected to someone who was just going to torment and make fun of him. But for the most part, Ed was taking on the role of 'fitness teacher' very well thus far.

"Yeah, kiss your night life goodbye for the next week or two at least," he heard Ed say. "You're going to be way tired until you get used to the routine." Roy forced his eyes open and slowly lifted his head to where Ed was sitting on one of the two couches, pouring over some books.

"Right..." he mumbled. This wasn't working. He was too exhausted and he needed something to give him a boost. With a yawn, Roy pushed himself out of his chair.

"Where are you going?" Ed asked suspiciously.

"Bathroom," Roy lied.

In truth, he planned on heading down to the break room to get some coffee and a doughnut. Ed had insisted on a 'balanced' breakfast of proteins and carbohydrates, and so they'd stopped at the cafeteria for scrambled eggs, toast, and an apple. Breakfast had been good, but Roy was used to having a couple of doughnuts every morning and at least two or three cups of coffee before lunch. He wasn't sure if he was craving them because he usually had them or because he was tired and needed a 'pick-me-up', but either way he didn't care. He was going to have a doughnut and a cup of coffee the way he liked it, no matter what Ed said.

Poking his head in the break room, Roy saw the box that Breda brought in every day and headed toward it. It was when he was lifting the lid of the box that he heard the sound of a throat clearing behind him. Turning, Roy saw Ed standing there with arms folded and looking a little irritated. For his part, Roy suddenly felt like a little boy who had been caught raiding the cookie jar.

"Bathroom, huh?" Ed asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, well, I was on my way there," Roy said, feeling a little embarrassed that he was trying to explain himself to Ed.

"Really? And all this time I thought the restrooms were on the other side of this floor. Did they move them recently?" Ed asked in a smartassed tone.

"Alright, fine," Roy responded irritably. "I wanted a doughnut. No big deal."

"It _is_ a big deal," Ed said, stepping forward and scooting the box away.

"I'm tired and I need a boost," Roy explained, grabbing the box and sliding it back to him.

"You're going through sugar withdrawals," Ed explained, and pushed the box away. "And caffeine withdrawals too, probably. Just tough it out this week and you'll be glad you did." Roy rolled his eyes, grabbed the box, and pulled a doughnut out, then held it up out of Ed's reach when he tried to snatch it away.

"You're making me sound like a drug addict."

"Caffeine _is_ a drug, and sugar is about as addictive as one," Ed explained, then jumped and grabbed onto Roy's arm to pull it down. "Now give me the damned doughnut!"

"No!" Roy snapped, struggling with how much weight Ed was putting on his arm. "One doughnut isn't going to kill me!"

"That's not the _point_," Ed growled. "The _point_ is that you're in a habit of eating this crap and I'm trying to _break_ you of it. After you're not in the habit, if you want to have one every once in a while, then fine. But you've got to break that habit first."

And, with that, Ed lifted his feet so that his whole body weight was on Roy's arm. When Roy stumbled forward, Ed put his feet back on the floor, then swiped one behind one of Roy's knees and brought him down to the floor. There was a lot of twisting and a bit of grappling, but in the end Ed managed to get a hold of the pastry, now smashed and unappetizing. The frosting covered the palm of Ed's real hand and spread down some of his fingers as well.

He tossed the doughnut toward the garbage can, then looked down at Roy, who was now lying with his back pressed to the floor as Ed knelt over him. They were both breathing hard and staring at each other in determination.

"It's gone now," Ed said, then glanced at his frosting-covered hand before wiggling it in front of Roy's face. "This is all that's left. You still want it?" he asked teasingly and smirked when Roy scowled at him.

Feeling annoyed and frustrated, Roy grabbed Ed's hand and licked it. At this point it wasn't about the doughnut anymore, it was about getting his way. He knew it was probably childish, but the more Ed said he couldn't have it, the more he wanted it, even though he knew Ed was probably right.

Only on the second lick did Roy bother to look up at Ed's face. Ed was staring down at him with a thoughtful look, not teasing or mocking, and it hit Roy that there they were, alone in the break room, him lying on his back, and Ed leaning over him as he licked Ed's hand... He felt a familiar tingle in his groin that alerted him to the fact that his body considered this to be arousal worthy. Feeling mortified and a little confused at his base reaction to this situation, Roy pushed Ed away and stood up quickly.

"Fine, no doughnut," Roy muttered, and quickly left the break room. He felt a shudder move through his body as he hurried down the hallway. He'd just licked another guy's hand. True, he'd done it because he'd been caught up in the moment, but still... he'd just _licked_ another guy's _hand_...

He grimaced at that, then reached the elevator and pushed the button, completely ignoring Ed's admonitions earlier that he should start taking the stairs all the time.

Roy felt more than a little confused as well. Why had his body reacted like that? Ed was just a kid, and a _male_ kid at that. Only... as Roy remembered looking up at Ed, he hadn't quite seemed so young as he knelt over him. In fact... thinking back on it, Roy suddenly realized that Ed had looked pretty mature. When had Ed gotten older? How had he missed that? And when had Ed gotten to be so good looking?

He stepped on the elevator and pressed the button for the first floor. What did it matter how old or young Ed looked, or whether he was handsome? It wasn't like Roy was gay or anything, so why was this such a big deal? It wasn't a big deal, Roy decided. He felt completely secure in his interest in women, and Roy felt that it was probably because he felt so felt so secure that he could admit to himself that he thought Ed was attractive. Not attractive to _him_, but in general...

Leaving the elevator, Roy decided to take a quick walk outside to clear his head. By the time he returned to his office, he'd decided that his body's reaction to what had happened in the break room had been a complete fluke brought on by the fact that he was now thirty and hadn't found himself someone to settle down with yet. There was nothing wrong with him at all, and he had won by getting some of the frosting from the doughnut, no matter that he'd had to lick it off of Ed's hand.

* * *

I know many of you have been asking me when this chapter would be out. I'm sorry about the wait, but I hope it was worth it. :)


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